Sometime in May, having convinced myself that I was nuts, I decided to do a personal analysis on myself concerning Angelo and his hometown in Maryland. I typed up seven and a half pages of this, blaming my situation and all the things that stemmed from it (including Angelo) on a number of things ranging from your garden-variety lonliness to a possible psychotic depression. It actually saddened me to conjure up this analysis, but I felt it was for the best, as I was seeing that my fascination with this place in Maryland, so far, wasn't leading me anywhere.
In the nights that followed, something strange occurred: I had three separate dreams which, once interpreted, all appeared to have something to do with the town in Maryland.
The first dream was creepy. It involved me trying to restrain this live (as in living and moving of its own accord) metal spring which was gathering lint and forming this freakish-looking black ball. At first, the ball kept bouncing onto my shoulder every time I flung it on the floor. Throughout the dream, I tried to keep it from moving. The dream ended with the ball of lint chasing me down a hallway.
The second dream was brief--like a minute or so long--and rather mundane. I kept using Febreze to get rid of an odd, lingering odor that was in the kitchen.
The third dream was the most active, it seems to me. I was sitting at the front of a log-cabin classroom, where it appeared that everyone was dressed as if it were the turn of the 20th century. To my far left was a girl who, for the most part, was out of my view. Other than me and the mystery girl, there were only two other people in the classroom: a boy who appeared to be about 12 years old and, of course, the teacher. According to the dialogue of the dream, the teacher and the boy had been having an affair, which seemed to have come to a halt. The two were arguing in front of the blackboard. The boy said he wanted to continue with the affair; the teacher kept making it clear that it was over between them. After, I'd say, about five to ten minutes arguing back and forth, the teacher demanded that the boy take an ESL (English as a Second Language) class (although both the teacher and the boy were speaking crystal-clear English). On the blackboard was a date that I couldn't see because it was blurred; it appeared to be a date sometime in November and December, in a year between 2007 and 2009.
The first two dreams were ways of letting me know that my situation with the town in Maryland isn't near over, that it is very much a part of my life, and that, try as I might, I won't be able to make it go away, and it's always going to be there, haunting me for years to come. The third dream--all except the date--was telling me that instead of trying to discredit everything, I should perhaps try to turn it into a story--something others can understand and won't be so quick to judge because or unusual quirks (thus the ESL class; I need to "translate it into English").
What does the unknown date mean, exactly? There's no way of knowing. Right now, only God and time can be the judges of that. But I know that there's a prophetic message behind it.
The mystery surrounding Angelo and the town in Maryland is bound to continue for quite some time, and there is still much to find out about this. It's obvious that letting it all go isn't the answer. So then, what is? Hopefully, it will all unfold soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment