About the man in my dreams...

It's a long story...

It started nearly five years ago; I was at work, bagging packages for a town in Maryland. Eventually, the town's name grew on me mysteriously. And so I spent pretty much the rest of that year trying to figure out what was going on.

That December, something happened. On the way home from the mall, I began to get an image in my mind: a scene of Christmas Day, and someone coming in. It was me, and with me was a man. He was about 5'2", with a shaved head and slight facial hair. We were married, and I appeared to be at least five months pregnant. We were just arriving at my mother's place; we had come from the town I had been preoccupied with that entire year--his hometown.

This thought gave me a warm feeling. At the time, it was an innocent thought--one which, believe it or not, I tried to shut out of my mind, as I considered my being drawn to this town to be a bad thing, something to be avoided. Later, it would become something bigger and more odd than I had ever imagined...

The following year was a wild one, with a number of strange incidents that occurred, among which were a series of signs and coincidences that all centered around this Maryland town. (One of these was a series of clouds in the sky, in "V"-form, "pointing" in the northeast direction, like arrows. Not making this up.) Soon, I began having dreams about the strange man who was allegedly a native of said town--the man whom I now know as Angelo. I caught every detail of his face, his body, his personality. He even has a birthday--if he were an actual person, he would have turned 28 today.

For the past three years, I have wondered about his existence, and I have prayed for it again and again. So far, he hasn't materialized. But I never gave up hope that he existed; whenever I began having doubts, something always kept me holding my breath.

I now believe that I have fallen in love with Angelo. This, of course, has led me to question my own sanity a bit. There is that part of me that wants to believe that he's somewhere out in the world, perhaps thinking the same thing as me--that there's someone, somewhere, that he feels connected to, whose existence he questions. But then there is that logical part of me that keeps assuring me that Angelo is no more than a figament of my imagination, a delusion that I created in the depths of my subconscious. And as I've said before, he could just be a representative aspect of myself.

I have prayed and cried over this for so long, and I still don't know what it's all about. But I keep holding on, waiting for that one day when everything will come together, when everything will make sense.

The Photograph Dream

This dream was this past Saturday, and what I'm about to describe is actually a short fragment.

In this fragment, I kept seeing two photos of myself with a man whom I've never met in waking life, but whom has repeatedly shown up in my dreams. He was short--about 5'2"--with a shaved head and a slight beard, and he had a light complexion. In the dream, we were dating, and the photos were taken at some type of semi-formal party.

The first photo was of us kissing. My date was leaning away from the camera, to where I couldn't see his face. But I could still tell who he was without seeing his face.

I did see his face in the second photo, which was of the two of us smiling at the camera.

The two photos appeared over and over again in a steady loop; then the dream ended.

I have no definite idea what to make of this. I find rather strange that this same man would show up in so many of my dreams, although I am always happy to welcome him whenever he shows up.

When I see him, we are usually dating or married, and sometimes we have a child--a daughter.

I'm thinking that this man likely represents some aspect of myself that I either need to recognize or am in the process of recognizing. This would be well illustrated in the relationship that I have with him in my dreams. Our daughter, then, might represent the new ideas or gifts or potential that may be or may have been derived from such a realization of self.

Of course, I could also say that these dreams are semi-prophetic, fortelling of someone or something significant coming into my life and enhancing it, and that the child who sometimes shows in these dreams might, indeed, be an actual child. And I'll admit--part of me wants to believe that. I am a big believer in such phenomena. But who would believe me? And what evidence is there to back it up, if something is to actually happen?...

And the photos in the above dream? Well, I don't quite have any ideas on what these could mean. A few fellow members on DreamMoods and the DM Underground have told me that photos in a dream usually mean that a moment is being preserved, or that there is something that needs the attention of the dreamer. It can also mean that things are not as they appear, or that the dreamer may be holding on to false hope.

Certainly, I don't believe anything is being preserved, since there is nothing to preserve. And I don't see how this would necessarily need my attention.

I think there's possibility that this may be a false image, but it's a false image of me. If this man really is just an aspect of who I am, then perhaps this picture represents a false idea I might have given myself or others that all is well, that I have discovered this part of myself, when I actually haven't.

In the case of false hope, perhaps I may be holding on to the idea that this man might be real and that he might enter my life and change my life, or that something extraordinary might happen. This is not to say that it's impossible for something big to happen in my life. But one cannot be sure where his/her life will take him/her. Everyone has some amount of ambition, and we all think big, to some degree; we all wonder what purpose we have in life, and often, we hope for something larger than life. And some people don't seem to go any further than their own backyards, figuratively speaking. And maybe that's the case with me, too.

I guess time will tell what happens for sure. But this dream definitely has meaning, and it's worth looking into.

"Dream of Threes" (2003)

This dream I had three years ago. It has never left my mind.

It started with me in what appeared to be a school bathroom. I was standing at the door, and I looked down to my right. I saw a woman lying on the floor, against the wall, and she was bleeding vaginally. A second later, my older sister came into the bathroom and told me that the woman on the floor had just given birth to triplets.

Then, I flashed to a scene sometime later, still in the same bathroom, in which someone else was giving birth to triplets,. But rather than a grown woman this time, it was a baby--yes, a baby--giving birth to triplets. I watched as this child cried out in pain, while one by one, the triplets, about as big as she was, were delivered.

Then came the final scene. In this one, both my sisters and I were in the bathroom together, where my younger sister had just given birth to triplets--two boys and a girl--who, fresh out of the womb, had already begun to walk. My sister had, for some reason, decided to write the children's names on them. I don't remember either of their names anymore, as it's been three years since I had this dream, but at the time, I remembered seeing the boys' names very clearly, one of whose name began with M. But I could never see the girl's name.

Eventually, the dream ended.

I am truly convinced that this was a strong prophetic dream about my sisters and me. And after three years of thinking about it, I think I may know what this dream is saying--at least one part. I still can't figure out what the bleeding woman or the baby having other babies meant, but I am positive that the third scene had something to do with my sisters and me. I have reason to think that the dream may have foretold motherhood for all three of us. And here's why:

--In the dream, my younger sister gave birth to two boys and one girl, but even as they came from the same womb, I don't believe they were all hers. In real life, each of my sisters has a son, both of whom were born after I had the dream.

--The name of one of the boys in my dream started with M. Soon after I had the dream, my younger sister found out she was pregnant with her son, whose name starts with M. A year after my first nephew was born, my older sister became pregnant with her son. I thought back to all this, and that's how I concluded that the other boy in the dream was my older sister's.

--Not only did identifying the boys help me realize the girl in the dream was mine, but also the fact that she was the triplet whose name I didn't see. If she was mine, then I wasn't meant to see her name. I have yet to become pregnant with my first child, but I've always felt that I would have a girl first.

However, since I don't have a child, there still lies a possibility that maybe the girl triplet in my dream didn't represent an actual child at all. Perhaps the baby was symbolic of something else--some new gift, idea, or potential.

Although I still can't make sense of the first part, I'm fairly certain that the woman bleeding on the floor was my mother. The woman in the dream had given birth to triplets. In waking life, my mother had five children, including the three of us girls. And, all three of us were in the dream together. It seems like an obvious connection to me...

There's still a lot to look at here. It's taken me three years so far to interpret part of it, and it will probably take three more years to get all of it.

Welcome to my dream blog...

This the first of many posts I will make on this blog. I will soon fill my blog with stories of my wildest, most memorable, most meaningful dreams...and a few extra things.

This is just the beginning. ;)